Monday, September 8, 2014

Why watering plants is a hobby I miss

My fondest memories of childhood are associated with the huge lawn in the house. Okay, it wasn't huge, but if I compare it to the average Delhi flat, it would have taken up most of our ground floor here. I'm pretty sure we had over 50 varieties of differently shaped flower pots in that Dehradun house. The huge Ashoka trees swayed ferociously every time it rained, often taking the electricity wires down with a gentle nudge. A few of them couldn't bear the violent storms and fell to the ground every couple of years. New ones took their place sooner than we knew.

I don't recall how I old I was, but I clearly remember rolling on the grass. I would pull out mud from the carefully cultivated lawn, much to the chagrin of my disciplined grandmother. What kind of hooligan had taken birth in her sophisticated family?

In the spring the garden would overflow with the brightest colours of dahlias and hybrid orange and purple roses that weren't usually found in the neighbourhood - all thanks to our special gardener who came all the way from FRI, Dehradun. There were poppies, a huge china rose plant, an ornamental lemon tree at the edge of the wall and three Ashokas lined like warriors right in front of the house. The hedge was always neatly trimmed. When I was old enough to figure how to attach the hose clamp on the tap and carry it all the way to the lawn, I was given the responsibility of watering the plants.

It all began from filling up the smaller flower pots to the brim. 'Never aim at the flower with a lot of pressure, the petals will wither away.' I don't remember where all these lessons came from, it was either my brother or my mother. 'No, not too much pressure on the mud either, it's going to splash on the freshly painted walls!' Ugh, watering plants came with a lot of instructions.

The grass in the lawn was usually flooded with water whenever I took charge. 'See there's dirt on the leaves, wash it away with water.' By the time I was a little older I was receiving live lessons about xylem and phloem in my garden. 'Phloem transports organic matter during photosynthesis. It's the innermost layer of the bark. Xylem transports water and nutrients.' The details would follow later, but that's a lesson for another day. 

There were times the hose twisted or the water supply came with such force that the tube was thrown far away and lay anguished on the floor. This usually meant I was going to be drenched, just like the lawn. This entire activity took anything between 45 mins to an hour and a half every evening. 

You should have seen my lawn once I had drenched the garden with copious amounts of water. The leaves shined like the greenest green, often reflecting the last few rays of the setting sun. The flowers brightly showed off their new colours as if they were out in their newest dresses. The trees dripped with endless drops of water throughout the evening. My five foot frame managed to reached the farthest branches three times my height with the help of the long hose pipe that sprayed water to the neighbour's house at times too. It was cool, green, and you could feel your lungs full of fresh air. 

Nothing quite matches the joy of rolling in the lawn - my first home :) 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

10 Reactions When You're Losing A QuizUp Game

XYZ joined QuizUp.
XYZ added you on QuizUp.
XYZ challenged you in Grammar.
XYZ sent you a message.
If this is what you're seeing a lot on your phone these days, this post is for you.

Here are a few reactions after losing a game. Don't lie, you've all been through this.

1. Tapping the wrong answer when you know the right one.

2. Getting a call in the middle of a neck and neck match.

3. Losing in the last 2x points round when you’ve been leading till the 6th question.

4. Beginner from unknown state in America beats you in Bollywood.

5. Turning off Wi-Fi is better than losing to crush thrice in a row.

6. You’re finally leading by an unbeatable margin and the opponent surrenders.

7. The opponent knows the nationality of the players who won mixed doubles in some Tennis Tournament in 1953. They've obviously seen this question before.

8. No mom, work can wait. This game CANNOT be paused.

9. Random friends messaging you to accept a challenge when they've already scored 160.

10. And then one day, you end up scoring 160! Zenmaster!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

How twitter followers answer questions

This is a very informative write up on social media interactions.
LOLJK, it isn't.

Studies by the Oinkoo International University for Social Media Research have revealed that *only 1% of your followers actually read your genuine queries on Twitter. Out of those 1%, only half will respond to your question. Out of those half, only 1 will be a useful response. That 1 response is something that you already knew before asking the question or most probably didn't want to know.

(*valid only for people with **>800 followers.)
(**I made that up, yes.)

Here is an example:

I put up a question to ~ 7k followers with three things in mind:
> Most of them are not bots because I don't remember doing a LoKarLoFollow act. (How many of you know that? *wink wink*)
> At least some of them have time for real life interaction with real life friends apart from that dog, pig or squirrel on the other side of the screen.
> So many people. So many suggestions. So much yay!

And look what happened!

The ego massaging ones. awww.  :')

The totally feasible suggestion provider. hmmmm.

The smarty pants. Because that's the best thing to do, right? BFFs and all that shizz <3 <3

The wordplay freak. Dil, because it's cute and useful. <3 Oh wait, wordplay.

The basic #commonsense tweep. So sw33t and cute dea.

The current affair freak. #Khobragade #Adarsh #Scam

The kuch-nahi-mila-to-Manmohan Singh-basher. Totally okay to gift her a blank A4 size sheet.

 The affectionate one. :"> awww.

And just when I thought I'd delete the tweet and write something on the
"delete tweet, 
deactivate twitter, 
smash screen, 
move to a small village in Pakistan" format
comes the ONE expected reply! OMG. I was looking for something on those lines. *Gives Tweet of the Day trophy already*