Tuesday, April 24, 2012

That ridiculous question

The first time someone asked me that question was when I was 5 years old. Class 1. Miss Helen Cutler.
"Child, what do you want to become when you grow up?" I shrugged. There wasn't much that I had seen back then. I knew my auto-rickshaw driver, my Dad, my mother and Ma'am. None of them did anything that was remotely interesting to me. After pondering over the question for some time, I said - "Drawing. I want to draw. I want new crayons." I really don't remember her reaction.

Visit blogadda.com to discover Indian blogs I grew a little older, reached class 5. "What do you want to become when you grow up, beta?" I wanted to be a singer, a dancer and everything that I saw on TV. Then came class 10! What did I want to become? I wanted to get into class 11 and think about becoming something later! Class 11 happened. "What do you want to become? Engineer? Doctor?" I didn't know really. So I took up both, Math and Biology. "Dekh lenge kya ban-na hai!" I thought to myself.

By class 12 I knew I didn't want to turn into either! There was something that I wanted to do, but I didn't know what that was. Very soon, I was in college, pursuing Chemistry and hating it too! So I knew Science wasn't something I was made for. Anyway, I continued with a Masters degree in the same, due to lack of options! And then, I had had enough of that question. I didn't know what do with my life!

Magically one day, I went for a walk-in interview at a place where my friend was already working and got selected in an hour! I thought I could silence everyone who asked me that question now. I wanted to be an Editor and now I am one! *in your face* The deep satisfaction that I felt can be likened to the lull after a storm. But the storm wasn't over yet. Lightning struck again.

Yesterday, my boss seemed very impressed by my performance in the last 8 months. Then came the damned question, "Where do you see yourself by the year end? I know it is a tough question but I want to know your opinion about what you want to do with this profile further."
The ghosts of the pasts came rushing back to me with such intensity that they trampled over me and left me in the sub-conscious state. This question doesn't seem to end! "Now what do I do with my life?!" Le Sigh.