Thursday, June 9, 2011

Ghosts on Earth

       Two friends Jeevan and Jeetu were well known for being the laziest bunch ever. On one summer afternoon when there was no electricity at home, Jeevan furiously stormed out of his house to set the electricity department straight. He couldn't sleep and that to him was major disrespect. Laziness got the better of him and he thought of doing something on his own. He climbed the electric pole and moved the wires here and there, got electrocuted and passed away. Jeetu stopped eating after hearing about Jeevan's end. Whether that was out of being lazy or sadness, nobody knows. Gradually he too withered away.
       Both of them met halfway on their way to heaven. They had been caught! Their location was somewhere above mesosphere. They read banners that said-Paranormal-osphere. Itching their heads, they tried to figure out what this was all about. A man in white appeared from nowhere. He was dressed in a white suit that looked very crisp. He introduced himself as the Head of the Ghosts' Committee. He was an MBA who wasn't treated well at work (had been kicked out of his job during recession.) Hence he formed the organisation here. He had very promising business plans on his stay on the Earth, but nobody paid heed to them. Here, however, he was the mightiest. All ghosts would report to him. He would check on them and promote them on the basis of the number of ghosts they brought to him everyday.
       After their death the two friends were re-christened G1 and G2. To survive here, they had to get in more ghosts. How? They were only given instructions once. For about three days they would just float over the atmosphere with their chins resting on their hands. When the Head got to know of this, he summoned them and gave them a 3 day notice. If they were unsuccessful this time, they would be sent to Hell where the Satan would take care of them. Out of fear, G1 and G2 set out to bring in more ghosts.
       Night 1: The two friends flew down to the highway, hoping to find a speeding truck or cars. A deadly collision would get them more ghosts. For about 2 hours when they saw no vehicles, they flew a few kilometres ahead to see that an elephant had angrily blocked the entire road. Disappointed, they reached Paranormal-osphere. They started chalking out their plan for the next day.
      Night 2: They reached a happening pub. They thought they would easily take away a few people sniffing drugs or maybe a few people who were high on drinks. They couldn't find the entrance. When they managed to find one, they ended up in the ladies' restroom. They could see three women desperately reaching out for their bags. What they saw in the mirror scared them no end! They saw three atrocious looking women covering themselves with layers of make-up. The ghosts, in a state of deep shock, ran out of the pub, straight to where they now belonged.
    The next day was the last day. They had to bring in more ghosts.
     Night 3: The dejected looking ghosts set out for their last effort. Flying over New Delhi, they saw a huge arrangement. It didn't look like a marriage pandal. When they came closer, they saw a huge gathering. There were people who were fast asleep. There was a stage where a few sadhus were sitting. They couldn't understand what this was all about. Suddenly they heard a few jeeps come to a screeching halt. Hundreds of footsteps came running towards them. In no time there were tear gas shells being hurled at people. Some were even lathi-charged. G1 and G2 froze in their places. They didn't know whether to move or stay. Whether to run or hide! If they ran, they'd be sent to Hell. If they stayed, it wouldn't serve any purpose either, they were ghosts, they could only take people away. They read a few banners and understood that this was a peace protest against corruption. Only that it wasn't peaceful anymore. They could do nothing to save these innocent lives. Helplessly, with long faces, they left to meet their Head.
       They flew directly to His Office. He was still dresses in that crisp white suit. G1 and G2 looked at him in shame and started weeping. The Head asked for an explanation.
They told him how they had witnessed innocent people retaliating against corrupt netas being treated brutally by police-men. How they could do nothing to save them. How they felt Satan's Hell would have similar treatment of their subjects like on Earth. They were ready to face the worst. They were prepared to pack their bags and be thrown in Hell.
     When the Head heard them speak like that, he realised that these two were two weak people who had turned out to be weaker ghosts. He knew they wouldn't be able to survive Hell, neither were they fit for Earth. They couldn't bear a peace-protest! How would they ever be able to deal with fuel-hikes, scams like 2G, politicians who were selling their own country! He quickly scribbled  a note on his note-pad and sent the two of them away from Paranormal-osphere to Heaven. In the note he wrote that these two should be allowed to attain Moksha and R.I.P. This part of the world was not for them!

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